Professional Ethics

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Re: Professional Ethics

Postby Thanqol » Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:27 am

chidori7 wrote:i think i can pull that off easily :D


No you can't!

Er. I mean, er, "Good luck, citizen. You walk a dangerous road now."
Hold me. I want you to feel greatness.
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Re: Professional Ethics

Postby BLACK_Commando » Wed Jul 28, 2010 1:01 pm

he is still a human and youre a corpse now mate.

good luck chidori!
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Re: Professional Ethics

Postby Father Lemington » Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:35 pm

A small tribute to our beloved monster hunter:

...Undeath to Death...


In the shadows of death, life still lingers.
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Re: Professional Ethics

Postby Thanqol » Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:40 am

I am...

How did this? What was that?

I had a terrible dream. That I... no. That's impossible. There's no way I made a mistake. I am DIRK MASTERS. I do not make mistakes.

Ha ha. What a funny dream! Well, more of a nightmare, really. I dreamed that I got killed by a zombie. Now that I think about it, it's funny after all. That I could fall to a mere zombie! That I could fall to a zombie! That I could be torn limb from limb in a horrifyingly gory way, having my head smashed repeatedly into the ground until my skull cracked open spilling my delicious brains all over the pavement and... it may have been an unusually graphic dream. But a dream nonethless! I am still alive. Still alive. I have two seperate songs on my iPod named Still Alive. Sure proof that I am, in fact, still alive. Alive and living and healthy and hale and non-zombified. And living.

What a wacky dream.

Ha ha ha, it's wacky because it's impossible. Impossible! Ha ha ha ha utterly impossible never never never

Ahem.

Now that we've gotten that unpleasant business out of the way, I'll continue with my summary.

Wednesday saw a lot more action. I ran with a mission, escorting an arms dealer across campus being hounded by the undead. Professionals always ensure their VIPs are eaten. I mean escorted. There were multiple conflicts but everything went fairly well and we reached the courtyard without much trouble. Then we split into two teams, the diversion team - the delicious, delicious Bait - and the strike team who went to extract the VIP's contact. I was on bait.

Due to the incompetence of civilians, the line broke and people started running rather than shooting when the zombies charged. I think one of the clumsy fools even knocked me over in the escape, and maybe I hit my head... huh, there's blood there. I should probably have that looked at.

I escaped, of course, because they were mere zombies - even unconscious I can escape zombies! Even unconscious I can kill zombies! I AM DIRK MASTERS, PROFESSIONAL MONSTER SLAYER, I DO NOT GET KILLED BY ZOMBIES. *Pant, pant*

But that was when I realized... I didn't want to kill zombies at all. Zombies, as I am so fond of pointing out, are not a threat to me. I can kill zombies from dawn to dusk and not be satisfied. I'd been thinking this through for days without even realizing it, but now I see the zombies were never my target here. The zombies were a diversion, a cover.

Why I'd really come here was to hunt the most dangerous game of all. Man.

It is such an ingenious plan that I am still impressed with myself for thinking of it. Arrive at a zombie outbreak, make a show of force assisting the local resistance to deter suspicion, and then turn my deadly skills on the humans themselves. No one will question a bunch of humans disappearing during an apocalypse, and what game is more deadly than an armed and paranoid human survivor? It is a rarified delicacy, the brains - I mean hunt - and to give them a sporting chance I will use my bare hands for each kill. It's all for the greater good, after all - in hunting these humans I hone my skills which I can then turn on more dangerous monsters! And they were all infected and probably going to die anyway. I'm doing them a SERVICE. Killing them with honour, at the hands of a Professional - Professionals are efficient, you know, and talented, Professionals never screw up and make rookie mistakes CIVILIAN mistakes because Professionals do this for a living it is their Profession and never ever eat brains no matter how delicious those large juicy brains are oh god the science students their brains smell like custard -

Ahem.

So I'll kill the humans, then kill the zombies, and continue on my way.

Because I am, after all *sunglasses* A Professional.
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Re: Professional Ethics

Postby Alistair » Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:03 pm

Thanqol wrote:I am DIRK MASTERS. I do not make mistakes.


Dirk Masters
=
Dr. Mistake Sr.

:P
keep it up man
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